From Leela to Learning 1

Without You, I Have No Refuge

by Tulas Amma (Abhang 9, pg 128)

O Guru, come swiftly now, I pray,
Remove this loneliness from my heart today.
Compassionate One, ever kind to Your own,
Why do You make me forget You, night and dawn?

Awake or dreaming, You dwell in my thought,
Do not stay distant from one so distraught.
Day and night Your name I repeat,
Yet each long day feels endlessly complete.

This world appears like a poison to me,
Its crushing weight I have surrendered to Thee.
I have laboured much, worn and weak,
Yet through ignorance, Your vision I do not seek.

Countless are my faults and my sins,
Arguments and errors bind me within.
But by Your darshan, all are burned away,
Awakening vigilance deep within my sway.

Your glory has neither shore nor end,
Lift me up—my Redeemer, my Friend.
Without You, Guru, I have no ground,
Come quickly now, in mercy unbound.

Do not give me the pain of separation, O Lord,
Grant me once more Your living accord.

Leela 1 The Burglary Averted

It was well known among devotees that once you went to Ganeshpuri, your return was only with Baba’s permission. Often, those who planned to stay for a week were asked to leave the very same day, while others who intended to stay briefly were asked to remain for weeks. Baba alone decided.

On one such occasion, my parents, along with all of us, went to Ganeshpuri intending to stay for a few days. Baba was then residing at Vaikunth Ashram. The moment they stepped inside the Ashram precincts, Baba came out and ordered them to leave immediately. They were not allowed even to sit for a while. Without resting or placing their luggage down, they had to turn back and walk to the bus stand with all their belongings.

My father was deeply anxious. If the last bus to Vasai had already left, there would be no transportation available, and there would be no place to stay for the night. However, as they reached the bus stand, they saw two headlights approaching in the darkness. It was the very same bus by which they had come to Ganeshpuri.

With immense relief, all of us boarded it. My father, being a regular visitor, asked the conductor why the bus was so late. The conductor replied, “By this time, we should have already reached the highway. But for some unknown reason, the bus would not start. The driver tried repeatedly, but the engine did not respond. We finally decided that we would have to spend the night on the bus. As a last attempt, we tried once more—and to our surprise, the bus started immediately.”

It was the last bus to Vasai for the day. It was as if Bhagavan had held back the bus for us.

With heavy hearts, my parents boarded the bus. They were deeply hurt that Baba had not allowed them to stay even briefly. Life in Ganeshpuri was not easy—there were no facilities, and one had to carry everything including provisions to stay, even a matchbox. The luggage was heavy, and being sent back without even sitting at Baba’s feet for a few minutes was painful. Yet, once Baba gave an order, there was no question of disobedience.

We reached Vasai, boarded the train, and returned home to Mahim. On opening the house, we discovered that the door lock had been broken and that someone had attempted to force entry. Had we been away for even a day or two longer, our house would certainly have been burgled.

It became clear then that Baba, in His omniscience, knew of the impending burglary and had compelled us to return immediately. It was also undoubtedly His will that caused the bus to remain out of action temporarily. Had the bus not broken down, we would not have found transport back to Mumbai. The delay ensured that we could catch the last bus.

Thus, our home was saved entirely by Baba’s grace.

Thus,

This Leelā belongs to a householder-devotee context, not an Ashram-centric one. Raghunath and his family were not seeking miracles, visions, or special treatment. They came simply to be near Baba.

The Leelā occurs:

In Vaikunth Ashram, a place associated with Baba’s silence and withdrawal
In extreme physical discomfort, which often stripped devotees of emotional resilience
At a moment when obedience was tested without explanation

This is important: Baba gave no reason. That absence of explanation is itself the teaching.

3. Antarārtha

a) Guru’s compassion does not always wear a gentle face

To the mind, Baba appeared harsh—sending a family away without even allowing them to rest. To the ego, it felt like rejection. To the heart, it was painful.

But this Leelā reveals a crucial truth:
The Guru protects first, explains never, and consoles last—if at all.

b) The Guru operates outside linear time

Baba was responding not to what was, but to what would be.
This is not prediction—it is abidance in the eternal present, where past, present, and future are one continuum.

c) Devotion is tested in obedience, not closeness

My parents were denied physical proximity to Baba, yet were given His active protection. This Leelā teaches that:

Being near the Guru’s body is not the same as being under Guru Kripā
Obedience is a deeper form of surrender than emotional satisfaction

It also echoes Bhagavan’s repeated demonstration that:

“The Guru is the doer. The disciple only thinks he acts.”

The bus breakdown was not a miracle to be announced; it was a necessary alignment of events, invisible unless reflected upon later.

4. Relevance for today’s seeker

For a modern sādhak or householder, this Leelā offers powerful guidance:

When life abruptly blocks a spiritual plan, do not assume rejection
When circumstances delay or obstruct you inexplicably, do not rush to label it misfortune
The Guru often works through:
- missed opportunities
- denied wishes
- sudden reversals